| Cards below have been recreated with
humorous names and card text to reflect my actual views on them. |
| LOB-073 |
 |
The Worthless Ancestor of Kabutops
EARTH / Beast / Level 3 / ATK 800 / DEF 1000
With no legs ond two puny arms, he tries to put on a brave face even
though there's nothing he can do offensively or defensively.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
The Pokemon I based the name on has more
potential for harm than this. |
| LOB-072 |
 |
The Goblin that Can't Hide His Shame
DARK / Fiend / Level 4 / ATK 1400 / DEF 1300
He wears a suit to try and look professional but even amateurs know
that he has no talent whatsoever.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
He had more skills in the anime than he does in
real life but only because of the Big Five's intervention. |
| LOB-071 |
 |
The Trick-or-Treater with Bad Aim
DARK / Fiend / Level 5 / ATK 1380 / DEF 1930
FLIP: Well you can take a swing at a card you know nothing about and
probably fail. Otherwise, congrats you wasted too much effort to get rid
of 1 card.
RARE |
| |
| Comments: |
Even when this card was first released it was
bad. You wasted a monster that was probably not going to ger rid of
anything. |
| LOB-068 |
 |
Charcoalsaurus
EARTH / Dinosaur / Level 4 / ATK 1500 / DEF 800
He made the mistake of trying to fight a dragon and ended up cooking
his own skin. Now he doesn't have a prayer.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
It doesn't take much to be one of the strongest
Level 4 monsters in the game at the time when their opposition has in
most cases under 1000 ATK. |
| LOB-067 |
 |
The Knight as Dumb as He Looks
EARTH / Warrior-Type Fusion / Level 4 / ATK 1500 / DEF 1200
"Wimp #1" + "Wimp #2"
RARE |
| |
| Comments: |
When a Normal Monster with 1500 ATK isn't good,
then a Fusion with 1500 ATK and no effect is even worse. |
| LOB-064 |
 |
One Who Can't Build a Dam
EARTH / Beast-Warrior / Level 4 / ATK 1200 / DEF 1500
He wasn't even cut out to be an ordinary beaver so he tried to be a
fighter and proved equally useless.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
Even in the anime, he couldn't hold his own. The
fact that Yami needed to power it up to make any attempt at an impact
proved it was useless. |
| LOB-063 |
 |
Halloween's Least Scary Bat
WIND / Winged Beast / Level 4 / ATK 1200 / DEF 1400
It was thought to be dangerous until its fireballs proved to lack
sufficient reach, even at close range.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
It had very little competition that wasn't
weaker so of course it was going to win and appear to be a force to be
reckoned with. |
| LOB-061 |
 |
Guaranteed Disadvantage
Normal Trap
Want an easy way to put you behind your enemy? Destroy more men you own
than your opponent.
RARE |
| |
| Comments: |
This was generally only useful against monsters
like BEWD because back then very few monsters could stand against it but
even then, we had Trap Hole, which cost you nothing. |
| LOB-060 |
 |
Marginally Good Countermeasure
Normal Spell
It's so specific that the odds of you being able to use it are
slim-to-none.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
Back then, there were already few Continuous
Traps and most of those weren't even worth taking them off the field as
they clogged one of your opponent's Spell and Trap Card Zones. |
| LOB-056 |
 |
Self-Extinguishing Fireball
Normal Spell
Wanna feel a light burn that goes away quickly? Here you go.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
It was even banned in tournaments for the anime
but why when cards like these do minimal damage? Joey was the only one
to use it and only when Marik possessed him. |
| LOB-055 |
 |
World's Tiniest Burn
Normal Spell
Feel pretty much no pain whatsoever.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
It was only for comical uses when Sudden Death
matches in tournaments were present. |
| LOB-054 |
 |
Dollar Store Cure
Normal Spell
Marginally increase your chances at a full recovery.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
+500 LP is never going to be a viable option. |
| LOB-051 |
 |
Zeus' Weakest
Thunderstorm
Field Spell
Zeus just didn't feel like throwing thunder bolts from above anymore so
he opted for the easiest storm possible.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
Well it wasn't much of a boost anyway. Still
isn't to this day. |
| LOB-050 |
 |
Poseidon's Puddle
Field Spell
Eager for a drink? This area receives microscopic amounts of rain a
year.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
A Legendary Ocean is basically the overall
better version of this card as it even has a 2nd searching card. |
| LOB-049 |
 |
The Underwatered Lawn
Field Spell
Add almost no offense or defense to Warriors and Beast-Warriors.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
Cards like this basically ensured long slow and
dull Duels while players struggled to make any major damage on their
opponent's Life Points. |
| LOB-048 |
 |
Pipsqueak Peak
Field Spell
Even babies can climb this mountain as it's only inches tall.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
Real mountains have all kinds of dangers like
death from exposure but this one? 0. |
| LOB-047 |
 |
The Land Where Nothing Grew
Field Spell
Nothing ever grows here and nothing ever will.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
We now have a better Field Spell for most if not
all of the monster types this requires. |
| LOB-046 |
 |
Weevil's Worst Trap Location Ever
Field Spell
Collectively give Insect, Plant, Beast and Beast-Warriors very little
additional ATK and DEF.
COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
Weevil's actual trap for Yugi and crew in
Episode 3 of the anime was far better than this but it doesn't take much
to be better than this. |
| LOB-045 |
 |
Pot of Greed's Fossilized Ancestor
Continuous Trap
Oh look, an anti-support card for the very few Dragons in this booster
set.
RARE |
| |
| Comments: |
It was really only useful against Red-Eyes or
Blue-Eyes but they were so rare back then, they probably never saw much
play. |
| LOB-044 |
 |
Poseidon's Poorly Manufactured Trident
Equip Spell
Expecting to rule the sea with this tool? HA! You're the tool then.
SHORT PRINT COMMON |
| |
| Comments: |
We wouldn't be talking about Poseidon if this is
what he held. Of course, it's all mythology so there's no evidence he
existed anyway. |