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Ridiculed Yu-Gi-Oh Cards (Page 8)

Cards below have been recreated with humorous names and card text to reflect my actual views on them.
Card Info The Worthless Ancestor of Kabutops
EARTH / Beast / Level 3 / ATK 800 / DEF 1000
With no legs ond two puny arms, he tries to put on a brave face even though there's nothing he can do offensively or defensively.
Comments: The Pokemon I based the name on has more potential for harm than this.   
Card Info The Goblin that Can't Hide His Shame
DARK / Fiend / Level 4 / ATK 1400 / DEF 1300
He wears a suit to try and look professional but even amateurs know that he has no talent whatsoever.
Comments: He had more skills in the anime than he does in real life but only because of the Big Five's intervention.
Card Info The Trick-or-Treater with Bad Aim
DARK / Fiend / Level 5 / ATK 1380 / DEF 1930
FLIP: Well you can take a swing at a card you know nothing about and probably fail. Otherwise, congrats you wasted too much effort to get rid of 1 card.
Comments: Even when this card was first released it was bad. You wasted a monster that was probably not going to ger rid of anything.
Card Info Charcoalsaurus
EARTH / Dinosaur / Level 4 / ATK 1500 / DEF 800
He made the mistake of trying to fight a dragon and ended up cooking his own skin. Now he doesn't have a prayer.
Comments: It doesn't take much to be one of the strongest Level 4 monsters in the game at the time when their opposition has in most cases under 1000 ATK.
Card Info The Knight as Dumb as He Looks
EARTH / Warrior-Type Fusion / Level 4 / ATK 1500 / DEF 1200
"Wimp #1" + "Wimp #2"
Comments: When a Normal Monster with 1500 ATK isn't good, then a Fusion with 1500 ATK and no effect is even worse.
Card Info One Who Can't Build a Dam
EARTH / Beast-Warrior / Level 4 / ATK 1200 / DEF 1500
He wasn't even cut out to be an ordinary beaver so he tried to be a fighter and proved equally useless.
Comments: Even in the anime, he couldn't hold his own. The fact that Yami needed to power it up to make any attempt at an impact proved it was useless.
Card Info Halloween's Least Scary Bat
WIND / Winged Beast / Level 4 / ATK 1200 / DEF 1400
It was thought to be dangerous until its fireballs proved to lack sufficient reach, even at close range.
Comments: It had very little competition that wasn't weaker so of course it was going to win and appear to be a force to be reckoned with.
Card Info Guaranteed Disadvantage
Normal Trap
Want an easy way to put you behind your enemy? Destroy more men you own than your opponent.
Comments: This was generally only useful against monsters like BEWD because back then very few monsters could stand against it but even then, we had Trap Hole, which cost you nothing.
Card Info Marginally Good Countermeasure
Normal Spell
It's so specific that the odds of you being able to use it are slim-to-none.
Comments: Back then, there were already few Continuous Traps and most of those weren't even worth taking them off the field as they clogged one of your opponent's Spell and Trap Card Zones.
Card Info Self-Extinguishing Fireball
Normal Spell
Wanna feel a light burn that goes away quickly? Here you go.
Comments: It was even banned in tournaments for the anime but why when cards like these do minimal damage? Joey was the only one to use it and only when Marik possessed him. 
Card Info World's Tiniest Burn
Normal Spell
Feel pretty much no pain whatsoever.
Comments: It was only for comical uses when Sudden Death matches in tournaments were present.  
Card Info Dollar Store Cure
Normal Spell
Marginally increase your chances at a full recovery.
Comments: +500 LP is never going to be a viable option.  
Card Info Zeus' Weakest Thunderstorm
Field Spell
Zeus just didn't feel like throwing thunder bolts from above anymore so he opted for the easiest storm possible.
Comments: Well it wasn't much of a boost anyway. Still isn't to this day.   
Card Info Poseidon's Puddle
Field Spell
Eager for a drink? This area receives microscopic amounts of rain a year.
Comments: A Legendary Ocean is basically the overall better version of this card as it even has a 2nd searching card.   
Card Info The Underwatered Lawn
Field Spell
Add almost no offense or defense to Warriors and Beast-Warriors.
Comments: Cards like this basically ensured long slow and dull Duels while players struggled to make any major damage on their opponent's Life Points.   
Card Info Pipsqueak Peak
Field Spell
Even babies can climb this mountain as it's only inches tall.
Comments: Real mountains have all kinds of dangers like death from exposure but this one? 0.  
Card Info The Land Where Nothing Grew
Field Spell
Nothing ever grows here and nothing ever will.
Comments: We now have a better Field Spell for most if not all of the monster types this requires.
Card Info Weevil's Worst Trap Location Ever
Field Spell
Collectively give Insect, Plant, Beast and Beast-Warriors very little additional ATK and DEF.
Comments: Weevil's actual trap for Yugi and crew in Episode 3 of the anime was far better than this but it doesn't take much to be better than this.
Card Info Pot of Greed's Fossilized Ancestor
Continuous Trap
Oh look, an anti-support card for the very few Dragons in this booster set.
Comments: It was really only useful against Red-Eyes or Blue-Eyes but they were so rare back then, they probably never saw much play.
Card Info Poseidon's Poorly Manufactured Trident
Equip Spell
Expecting to rule the sea with this tool? HA! You're the tool then.
Comments: We wouldn't be talking about Poseidon if this is what he held. Of course, it's all mythology so there's no evidence he existed anyway.