Ridiculed Yu-Gi-Oh Cards (Page 7)

Cards below have been recreated with humorous names and card text to reflect my actual views on them.
LOB-043
	The Story of Why Spellcasters Suck Equip Spell Once there was a Spellcaster that read this book. He sucked at making magic spells. The end. SHORT PRINT COMMON
Comments:	It's worse than a book with a lame ending because it never had a good starting point either.
LOB-042
	Rejected Pirate Treasure Equip Spell Have a zombie in need of an extra boost? Well you're going to get very little here. SHORT PRINT COMMON
Comments:	To think that a mere 300 ATK and DEF boost warranted making each of these cards short printed despite being restricted to a specific type monster.
LOB-041
	Chuck E. Cheese's Toy Fangs Equip Spell Now your Beast will have marginally more fear factor. SHORT PRINT COMMON
Comments:	They look pretty fearsome in the artwork but that's generally how regular plastic fangs would look to kids.
LOB-040
	Toddler's Cosplaying Sword Equip Spell Your monster's strength and defense only increase by 300. Now you know why it wasn't stuck in a stone. SHORT PRINT COMMON
Comments:	Even back then, it did very little to your monster, even those that were Warriors.
LOB-039
	Harpie's Deformed Brother WIND / Winged Beast / Level 3 / ATK 800 / DEF 800 A descendent of Harpie's Brother that wasn't properly developed. It can't even fly and every day is on the verge of being the meal for better predators. COMMON
Comments:	It kinda looks like Harpie Lady but it's a bird of prey and not in a good way.
LOB-038
	Major Sucky, the Lackluster Swordsman EARTH / Warrior / Level 4 / ATK 1100 / DEF 1100 They call him Major Sucky because he's trying to be a higher ranked soldier but is proving more and more with time that he's not cut out for being even a basic soldier. COMMON
Comments:	It's a good thing monsters like these are only now being used for Speed Duels because that's where they're more likely to be successful, though there's still a handful of better monsters in those packs anyway.
LOB-037
	Merlin's Worst Magical Sheep EARTH / Beast / Level 3 / ATK 800 / DEF 1000 A sheep that was unable to do anything Merlin tried to make it do. Its fur also didn't serve as warmth on the cold nights. COMMON
Comments:	Even the other magical sheep has uses as Fusion Material and higher ATK.
LOB-036
	The Rejected Cloudian King DARK / Fiend / Level 3 / ATK 1000 / DEF 900 His weather proved to be insufficient for joining the Cloudians. Even Cloudian Smoke Ball had better results. COMMON
Comments:	He's really more like a cumulus cloud with no way to grow bigger and become a threat.
LOB-035
	The Planet's Tamest Weather LIGHT / Fairy / Level 3 / ATK 1000 / DEF 1000 Forecasters feared it would be a devastating blow but the warnings were not justified as it turned out to be a typical day in summer. COMMON
Comments:	Even the sun and wind can't create a force strong enough to combat most monsters in this set.
LOB-034
	The King of Dead Grass EARTH / Plant / Level 3 / ATK 500 / DEF 1600 A plant found on a lawn that has been dead for decades. His chances of being successful were lost long ago. COMMON
Comments:	It has better DEF than about 90% of the monsters thus far but that's because they all have low ATK to begin with and he has less ATK than they do.
LOB-033
	The Sea King's Worst Attacker WATER / Aqua / Level 3 / ATK 800 / DEF 700 A member of the Sea King's army, his skills are far below everyone else's and was chosen out of desperation to fill that last slot and to use as bait for enemy attacks. COMMON
Comments:	It doesn't even look that angry in the artwork so furious doesn't really describe it that well.
LOB-032
	Magikarp's True Evolved Form WATER / Fish / Level 3 / ATK 900 / DEF 800 Although resembling the feared Pokemon Gyarados, it has the same number of powerful attacks as Magikarp, which is to say, none. COMMON
Comments:	It's about as useless as Magikarp so it's a perfect fit.
LOB-031
	Good-for-Nothing Pet Rock EARTH / Rock / Level 3 / ATK 900 / DEF 1000 A pet rock that dissolves away the instant its owner sees it. They never see eye-to-eye and the owner ends up wasting money on it. COMMON
Comments:	The actual name is just as bad, Dissolverock, which to me says it's a rock that dissolves on its own accord.
LOB-030
	Slifer's Long-Lost Cousin EARTH / Dragon / Level 3 / ATK 900 / DEF 700 Its two mouths suggested it was the first incarnation of Slifer the Sky Dragon. Unfortunately, it had no means of being useful so Slifer ended up evolving on its own accord and had to put up with such failures for years. COMMON
Comments:	It is after all very much like Slifer, at least from the two mouths. Though, it has nothing in common regarding its usefulness either.
LOB-029
	Overcooked Phantom DARK / Zombie-Type Fusion / Level 3 / ATK 1000 / DEF 800 "Thick-Headed Servant" + "Good-for-Nothing Pet Rock" RARE
Comments:	It's barely stronger than the previous two and takes more effort to bring out. It's worthless.
LOB-028
	Karen, the Girl with Burnt Skin EARTH / Warrior / Level 2 / ATK 800 / DEF 400 She was taught to wield the special blue flame, but found that she ended up burning off all her skin as a result of mishandling the simple task. COMMON
Comments:	Joey ran this card when he was a novice duelist and was never going to win with a 40 card Monster Deck. Tea` was able to beat him multiple times in this fashion. Using her is never a good idea.
LOB-026
	The Flame that Burned Out FIRE / Pyro / Level 2 / ATK 600 / DEF 500 It tried to stay warm using its own heat in an area where combustible materials were very limited and eventually burned itself out. COMMON
Comments:	Something to be said when a flying gumball has more defense than an angry fireball.
LOB-025
	Flying Gumball LIGHT / Fairy / Level 3 / ATK 600 / DEF 900 It came from a gumball machine and mysteriously sprouted wings, enabling it to fly. It wasn't even good candy and was overpriced so no one ever bought it. COMMON
Comments:	Tea` Gardner used it but she was never good enough to actual prove herself. Mai was her only victory prior to the Big Five trapping her in the ice age.
LOB-024
	Fish Bait Dragon WIND / Dragon / Level 2 / ATK 600 / DEF 700 A dragon so weak and unable to make fire that it is used as bait to catch fish. COMMON
Comments:	Well it'd be more appealing than the worm perhaps.
LOB-023
	Animated Tiger Costume WATER / Aqua / Level 4 / ATK 1000 / DEF 1500 A costume designed like a tiger that came to life on Halloween night. It looks fierce but even the children know it's nothing to be afraid of. COMMON
Comments:	Kids probably thought it was cool but at that age, just about anything is cool or scary.