← To Pon-Evil Articles Index  To the homepage To 2024 and 2025 Pon-Evil Articles →

Nightmare Herald (2022-2023)

A blog that details "news" Pon-Evil residents want outsiders to believe took place.

12/22/23 (Article #49)
 Pon-Evil Accepts Defeat in Pudgyville's Big Battle
 We admit we were cheating and are willing to condede to the true winners of that battle to Flippy and her friends. While we're at it, we're willing to pay them a visit to apologize for our actions, complete with a $50 gift certificate for each of them to buy anything in our new store.
12/2/23 (Article #48)
 Body Pillows 'R Us Admits to Faking Pony Sizes
 We've found the one place that has helped Pudgyville and Bulging Curves obtain the sizes they claim to have naturally. They sell pillows and suits to help make it look like they're fat, and they've gotten good enough to make the pillows jiggle inside the suit for that extra realism. It's the only way to explain how the ponies have so much energy for so much weight.
11/22/23 (Article #47)
 Social Feedia a Total Ruse
 Ocean Shores' Social Feedia was a hoax out of the gates. How can we tell? Well look at how short-lived it was. Her guilt kept building with each day until finally she couldn't take it anymore, but told everyone she just wasn't interested to keep her secret intact. We're the only ones that were unsurprised by her actions.
11/10/23 (Article #46)
 Pon-Evil Gets First Valentine's Day Card
 It's many years late, but we got it, from a sweet little filly in another town. We were so impressed by the card that we wrote her one back and sent it to her. Hopefully they'll get the card by next year's Valentine's Day. There's plenty of hearts and all that good stuff on ours too. I'm sure she'll be thrilled. I'm not sure she's ready for attention so we left her name out of this article.
9/29/23 (Article #45)
 Jasmine's Body is Really Red
 Everyone knows about that allegedly pink pony and her birth defect, but she's really a red pony and the pink color is a trick of the light. We've captured her wandering around at night and she's not the same color at all. There's also no way there could be other lights to make her appear red as she'd go back to pink otherwise. It's not a sunburn either.
9/17/23 (Article #44)
 Mayor Goldie Rain Hired by Default
 Whatever "election" was held clearly wasn't a real one. Who did Goldie Rain go up against and what questions were asked? Their first "mayors" were clearly a dry run, only to have the real one come up short too. Did they bribe her with food to be mayor? That would explain all three of their weights.
9/5/23 (Article #43)
 Pon-Evil Looking for Recruits
 Now that you readers have trusted us for so long, how would you like to join us? We're a happy bunch with no ill will towards any town. Each of us has bright colors and a sunny town that you'll see right as you enter. Drop by and we'll give you the entry form once you request it. We'll train you on what it takes to be one of us over the course of a single week. It's that easy.
8/24/23 (Article #42)
 Big Book of Pudgyville is Book of Lies
 Ms. Sheila has a book called the "Big Book of Pudgyville", which allegedly contains history of the town, but it's all made up by Ms. Sheila herself. She can't actually prove any of what's written even happened. We'll probably be able to disprove them all over time and we've made great progress so far.
6/23/23 (Article #41)
 Bulging Curves Students Caught Cheating on Entrance Exam
 We found out the real reason they flunked the test. They quite clearly cheated and we have the proof to back it up. Our surveillance cameras were hooked up to their's, allowing us to see them taking the test. No one even noticed the cameras were moving without their input as they were so focused on the test. Those 5 weren't worthy of joining the "school" in the first place.
6/11/23 (Article #40)
 Chubby Cinemas Using Hologram Projectors for Movies
 That's an eye opener isn't it? Well we've had a glimpse of the movies from our end. We have special telecopes to peer through their curtains while a movie is playing. Guess they didn't think of that when preventing others from free previews. The projections actually go beyond the building itself, which is most likely the real reason they have the curtains closed. They don't want anyone to know about it.
4/28/23 (Article #39)
 Pon-Evil Rated #1 Town in the World
 Was there any doubt? Maybe in other towns, but we were on top for years and now we're finally getting the recognition we deserve. We'll be sure to have some sort of banner or flag as proof of our victories. Pudgyville's best awards cannot compare to ours.
4/16/23 (Article #38)
 Bulging Curves Mayor a Fraud
 Now what could we possibly have to prove this? Have you ever noticed they're always falling for cheap gimmicks like navel stickers? We think that's a pretty good indication that they're faking their whole mayor thing. Where's the ceremony? Where's the voting? Exactly, none of that is there. How can they be mayor then?
4/4/23 (Article #37)
 Pon-Evil Reveals Pudgyville Battle Photos
 Want to know how we defeated them in that battle they were so confident about? They never stood a chance. We were ready from the get-go and didn't fall for their ploys. Good thing the weather in town cooperated too.
3/1/23 (Article #36)
 Grayscale Girls Covered in Paint
 All isn't as it seems in Bulging Curves, if that's even its real name. The Grayscale Girls may claim to be named after the way they do their newspaper, but they're covered in different paint colors that hide their true colors that are probably not even close. We even have photos showing where the paint is coming off.
2/17/23 (Article #35)
 Galapeño Using Pillows for "Big" Booty
 You read that right. That spicy pony in Pudgyville is faking her booty's size with red pillows. You'd think residents would notice, but we're the only ones that have figured this out. It'll be quite the surprise once it's known to everyone except us.
1/31/23 (Article #34)
 Pon-Evil Nominated for Best Town Award
 Yes, that's right. We won an award. All our hard work has finally paid off. No one can tell us we didn't earn it, nor that they deserved it. We're just that nice of a town, much nicer than those dirty other towns.
12/20/22 (Article #33)
 Pudgyville Statue Confirmed to be Fruit
 That bright orange statue isn't what they claim to be. It's not made of metal at all. It's totally made of orange peels. We think we know how they got all that fruit, but don't yet understand how it's holding together. We bet it'll collapse in short order from here.
12/9/22 (Article #32)
 Alleged Merger Further Debunked
 We've found more evidence that Bulging Curves is still two completely separate towns. There's a seam right in the middle of the town that's hidden from residents' eyes. We know it's there, but I'm sure if we told them, they wouldn't buy it.
11/26/22 (Article #31)
 Pon-Evil Adds Health Hospital
Just got out of mean Pudgyville or some other bad town and need care? We can do that. Drop by our new hospital and get the care you need. We'll even thrown in a complimentary toy of your choosing. You can rest assured that we'll have you in-and-out in just a few days, even for serious injuries.
11/14/22 (Article #30)
 Pudgyille Goes on Strict Diet
 Now everyone in town has to go on a diet. I hadn't expected it and neither had my comrades. Why would a town call themselves "Pudgyville" if they're going to be skinny? Guess their entire weight acceptance was a ruse to attract customers. No deception in Pon-Evil. Come on in.
11/2/22 (Article #29)
 Tubby Town Creates Fake Controversy
 The so-called controversial pony that had devil-like decoration on her head never existed. It was all made up by the town's mayor. Apparently she loves creating fake drama for the residents. We can also probably tell you who was in the costume too, that spiral pony with the glowing navel that is totally a light bulb. What a joke.
9/21/22 (Article #28)
 New Town Built Behind Us
 We're as surprised as you readers are. A new town appeared last night, but we can't really tell what it's supposed to look like from our vantage point. There's no telling how many residents inhabit this new place or even what it's called. They even have roads there so we suspect there's cars too. We've left the address in case you wanted to find it for yourself: 3200 Jiggle Way
9/3/22 (Article #27)
 Pon-Evil Opens First Talk Show to Pudgyville
You read it here first. We have a talk show now. No need to sneak into town anymore. You can just come talk to us up close and never ever have to worry about any kind of sneak attacks in return. We've already rehearsed all kinds of discussion topics so as we feel we need to, we can switch it up in case viewers aren't happy (and believe us, we'll know if they aren't).
8/22/22 (Article #26)
 Town Rename is Big Fat Lie
 We know all about Depthtopia's so-called "merger" into Bulging Curves. It never really happened. We were there and the town looks exactly the same as it did before. It's clearly some sort of publicity stunt to attract ponies there. Besides, since when does the town actually feature "curves" anyway?
6/21/22 (Article #25)
 Pon-Evil Dating Site Revealed
 Looking for that special someone with a twinkle in their eye? You'll have plenty to choose from with "Hearts and Cuties", our very own dating site. Profiles include lots of info to help you choose the right pony. There's even a way to chat with them to really make sure it's the right choice. Sign up is free and you can even use our own camera to chat.
6/9/22 (Article #24)
 Grayscale Girls Have No Newspaper
 While the group may be there to have fun, it's so that no one realizes that the place they claim is where the newspapers are made is just a house. There's no activity inside. They don't even own a printing press. How could they when they don't exist anymore?
4/28/22(Article #23)
 Pudgyville'ers Use Fake Bellies
 You really think they're naturally fat? We've seen evidence that they just use pillows under large shirts. They're just good at hiding the obvious seams with long pants. They're really 100% skinny and totally contrary to the town's namesake. The white one with red and gold hair probably doesn't even like cake.
4/16/22 (Article #22)
 Depthtopia Files Cease and Desist Order Against Us
 Would you believe we've been made victims of a scam by Depthtopia to get us kicked out for good? Well it's true. We have their letter right here. It says we're not allowed to be a town. Like they're ones to talk after they allegedly became one from two towns. It's a total hoax.
4/4/22 (Article #21)
 Navelle's Mayors are Fake
 Have you seen the alleged 'mayors' in the Navelle side of Depthtopia? What a joke. They can't be mayors. They're too much alike and don't even know how to run the town. We'd offer to help them, but they'd probably say no. Who does that other mayor think he is anyway helping them out?
2/25/22 (Article #20)
 Pon-Evil isn't Stormy
 Contrary to popular belief, we don't have any storms here at all. It's just sunny skies all day every day, except when the moon is out. That pony that snooped into our town had no idea what she was talking about and was misled by what she saw. She probably needs to get her eyes checked.
2/13/22 (Article #19)
 Decimator is Dead
 Our great leader has passed away this year. I guess we'll need to find a new leader at some point, but we're just as devious and corrupted as he was. No need to worry. We're good guys now, contrary to what Pudgyville has said.
2/5/22: (Article #18)
 Weightopia Steals from Navelle
 You read right. The two sides are never in agreement and that's because Weightopia never has any original ideas, nor do they actually go out and get or build their own things. They just walk across and take from Navelle during the night. Those "groups" they have are just plotting their next move. Why else are they so secretive?
1/28/22 (Article #17)
 Pudgyville Equals Pon-Evil
 Pudgyville is named after Pon-Evil because we were first to create a town. Don't let them fool you with that whole bogus story about Flippy Dove Treat and making fat acceptable. That never happened. We saw the whole thing and there was also no fat law either.